Was God Happy?

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God. In the beginning was God - and all else was darkness and void, and without form. So God created the Heavens and the Earth. He created the Sun and the Moon and the Stars so that light might pierce the darkness. And the Earth God divided between the land and the sea, and these He filled with many assorted creatures. 

And God created life in many forms, one of which was human, and the lowest form he called Soldiers. But God is filled with love and mercy and to cover their nakedness he gave them trousers which were too long, shirts which were too short and deep pockets in which to warm their hands. Then he gave them very loud voices and a limited vocabulary of words, all of which have only one syllable, that they might understand each other.

But the result was such that God's sense of humour was outraged so he embellished their uniforms. God gave them badges and coloured cords. Then he gave them ribbons, and patches, and crowns, and chevrons. He gave them emblems and crests and all sorts of shiny things that glittered and devices that dangled. (When you're God you tend to get carried away in a big way).

When all this was finished it was the fifth day of God's labours. For looking after Soldiers is very tiresome and God looked for an easier creation.

Then God created flighty creatures of the air, which he called Airmen, (God is very bright), and these he clothed in uniforms which were ruffled and foul. But being a wise and just God he allowed them to wear bushy moustaches in order to hide their ungodly features. And the Airmen too talked to each other and were not understood by the Soldiers. So most of the time the Airmen talked to themselves and remained in constant admiration of the brilliance of their dialogue.

And on the seventh day God rested. On the eighth day God looked down upon the earth and was not happy. GOD WAS NOT HAPPY!!

So He thought about His labours and in his infinite wisdom He created divine creatures and these creatures he called sailors. And Sailors were created in the image of God Himself. He made them tall, with wavy hair and sparkling eyes, of splendid physique and calm demeanor. Resolute and courageous, God made them rule the seas and to give direction and guidance to the lesser creatures. And to complement their superior bearing, God gave them wonderful uniforms.

He gave them practical, fighting uniforms so that they could wage war against the forces of Satan and Evil.
He gave them Service uniforms for their daily work and training, so that they might be sharp and ready.
And he gave their Officers and Senior people evening dress uniforms. Sharp, stylish, handsome things so that they might win the hearts of the ladies at cocktail parties and impress the hell out of everybody!!

And at the end of the eighth day, God looked down upon the earth and He saw that it was good. But was God happy? No! God was still not happy because, in the course of his labours, He had forgotten one thing. He had forgotten to give himself a Sailors uniform! But He thought about it and finally satisfied himself in knowing that well, not everybody can be a Sailor.

[Courtesy of Spindrift - Oct 2010; NOASA]

 This page created 28 September 2010